How Do Animals React To Total Solar Eclipse?

How do Animals React to a Total Solar Eclipse?  You ask.

  1. Do I need to get my dog Solar Eclipse glasses?
  2. What will my cat do?
  3. Will bats attack?
  4. Will raccoons come out?
  5. How do migrating Monarch butterflies cope?
  6. Do fish get sad?
  7. What about the birds and the bees?
  8. Can Vampires come out?
  9. Should I worry about mosquitoes?
  10. Will my snake be hungry?
Total Solar Eclipse and Dogs:
Eclips dogs
Dog Debonneire

You will grow appreciation and respect for your canine when you finally come to realize that your dog is smarter than you.  This is particularly evidenced during a Total Solar Eclipse  Dogs DO NOT need glasses because dogs are not stupid enough to stare at the sun  Many mongrels are known to howl during a Solar Eclipse but experts say this is to communicate with other dogs to ensure each other that the dreaded Cataclysm of Catmageddon has not begun.  Dogs are smarter.

Total Solar Eclipse and Cats:

Cats are infinitely superior to dogs in every way,  just ask one.  It is a violation of the highest order of cat to acknowledge a dogs’ superiority in any matter, and, if their is any evidence thereof cats just change the rules.  Cats, like dogs, are smarter than their masters when it comes to Total Solar Eclipse.  It is worth noting that most cats are crazy.  This self-evident truth can be re-enforced during a Total Solar Eclipse  We recommend you stay away from your cat during the eclipse as they have been said to go to bat-shit crazy when the moon steals the sun.

Total Solar Eclipse and bats:

Chiropterans are usually unaffected by a Total Solar Eclipse as the tend to reside in dark, cavernous caves unaffected by sunlight.  Exceptions do exist.  Bats tend to fly at night with some continuous activity by some living in shallow caves.  Just to be safe I personally will be as close to Ozzy Osbourne at Moonstock, hosted by Walker’s Bluff, as possible as bats have good reason to be afraid of him.ozzy eats bat , Moonstock , Walkers Bluff

Total Solar Eclipse and Raccoons:

During a Total Solar Eclipse some Raccoons may emerge from their den but are usually skittish around crowds of humans.  Some say that a Total Solar Eclipse is the only time raccoons talk.  Usually only to each other but a cleverly painted face can convince one that you are a member of their community and engage you in idle chit-chat.  This is generally discouraged as they tend to focus on religion and politics…time which could be better spent engaging in a Total Solar Eclipse.

Total Solar Eclipse and Monarch Butterflies:

Not to worry.  The 3,000 mile migration of Monarchs from Mexico to Canada begins in March and ends in July.  Through most of July all of August/September and most of October the majority of the Monarch Population will be Canadian.  This Total Solar Eclipse should have little effect on them.  However after losing 90% of their population over the last twenty years they are teetering on potential extinction.Not in My Belfry

Total solar Eclipse and fish:

About as rare as the study of chiropterans during a Total Solar Eclipse so goes the study of fish.  Really, when you are enveloped in the awe-inspiring moment of a Total Solar Eclipse, why in God’s blue ocean would you want to look at a fish?  More generally why do want to look at a fish anyway?  The answer to any question regarding fish should be “More malt vinegar, please”.

Honestly, studies show fish behave just as they do whenever you turn off the light, or night in nature. Sad, Really?

Total Solar Eclipse for the birds and the bees:

Get your mind out of the gutter.  I grouped the two together for similar attributes displayed during a Total Solar Eclipse.  First, the bees.  There is way too much information to squeeze into 140 characters.  The bees will have their own day in this blog.  In summary, bees head back to the hive as the sky begins to darken.  The hunker down for totality emerging at first light.

Birds have a very observed presence in just about 99.99% totality in 99.99% totality of Total Solar Eclipses(sic me).  Now, if birds flew backward during an eclipse all of those cat videos would have been pale by comparison… and it would be common knowledge.  Nearly EVERY Total Solar Eclipse study(Antarctica does not count, cat’s rules. Boom.) accounts the birds approaching silence conversely with the eclipse.  Nary a mention of backward flying birds.

Total Solar Eclipse for vampires:

C’mon.  Vampires are not animals.  They are NOT the undead.  They hold no place in such a scientific based forum regarding Total Solar Eclipse.  Although,  a properly placed coffin by an assistant could allow a vampire to feast for two minutes and forty seconds in Carbondale.  Those seeking the chaste may however, starve.

Total Solar Eclipse for mosquitoes:

What an easy transition from one unworthy blood sucker to another.  Generally, mosquitoes follow an east to west daily migratory pattern in line with dusk.  The females will hang out and suck you dry during the sun’s daily waning hours, then float around and see if they can feast on your company.  What’s uncertain is what will happen as dusk approaches from the opposite direction during the upcoming Total Solar Eclipse.

Total Solar Eclipse and snakes:

Nocturnal snakes may peek from their hole as it darkens, but don’t expect anything unusual unless you happen to be in Larue-Pine Hills, IL.OMG! Snakes

yours truly-

The Sol Allaince

 

 

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